How To Make Millions On The Internet

How To Make Millions On The Internet

I'm sure you've read about them - the Internet millionaires. The online entrepreneurs, the ones who make millions of billions using the Internet.
I'm sure you've asked yourself: "How the hell do they do it?" and "Is it possible for me as well to make millions on the Internet?"
Of course it is!
Here are ten sure-fire ways to get stinkin' rich using the Internet!

1. A) Invent a time machine.
B) Travel back in time and invent the Internet.

2. A) Change your last name to Google. If your name is, say, Godfrey Smith, become Godfrey Google.
B) Every time someone enters the word "Google" in a search engine or elsewhere online, they'll find you. Make sure you have those Pay Per Click ads ready.
C) Sue Google for exploiting your name.

3. A) Join an online dating community.
B) Search for movie- and rock stars.
C) Marry a movie- or rock star.

4. A) Move to a monarchy.
B) Make sure the prince or princess is single.
C) Open a computer shop nearby the castle.
D) Send a virus in an email to the prince/princess.
E) The prince/princess contacts you to have his/her computer fixed.
F) Insist on fixing the computer in the castle.
G) Marry the prince/princess.

5. A) By a bunch of misspelled Internet domains, like pronography.com, porrno.com, sexy-babbes.com, etc.
B) Cram the sites with ads.
C) Watch the money pour in as horny dyslexics surf for porn.

6. Do you like to cook? Sell your left-overs on eBay!

7. A) Compose a catchy song. It doesn't have to be any good.
B) Record the song. It doesn't matter if it turns out crappy.
C) Have Jonas Åkerlund direct the video and post it on MySpace and YouTube.

8. A) If you don't live in a big city, move to one.
B) Hang out by a public bath or gym.
C) Wait till somebody who's sort of famous goes there; an actor, the mayor, a politician.
D) Videotape this person changing pants or taking a shower.
E) Sell the tape online as a "Sex tape".
F) Save money by not paying rent while you spend a year in prison.

9. A) Use an online word processor, like Google Documents.
B) Write a novel.
C) Win the Nobel Prize.

10. Write a stupid article like this one and hope millions will read it.